AUTOBIOGRAPHY
The day Papa met Mama, he truly fell in love with her and started courting her. Papa did not fail because Mama accepted his love. They started living together under one roof, and their relationship blossomed beautifully. In time, they decided to build a family. Their first blessing was my older brother. They were overjoyed at last; they could call themselves a true family. Later on, my mother made the difficult decision to work abroad to provide for our needs. Life was not easy for them. Distance brought sadness and longing that weighed heavily on their heart.
Eventually, my mother returned home for a short vacation. During this time, their happiness grew even more as they were blessed with another child, and that’s me. But soon after, he had to leave once again to continue supporting us from afar. Months later, the day of my birth arrived, a day filled with joy for both of them, but just a month after I was born, my grandmother suggested that they get married. My mother refused; instead, she chose to leave us, she abandoned us at a neighbor’s house with no food, nothing but our cries, and no clothes, for she had burned them. It is hard for me to imagine that at only one month old, my mother had already left us.
Life after that was difficult. We moved from place to place, and different people cared for us since my father was still working abroad. As the years went by, I grew up without knowing what it was like to have a mother. The only person who stood in her place was my grandmother. She became our source of love, care, and guidance. She loved me and my brother with patience and strength. Because of her, we grew up well, learned the right values, and understood how to embrace life despite the hardships.
In 2016, on the day of my elementary graduation, I finally got to be with my father for the first time with his new wife. I was so happy, because for once I finally felt I had a family call my own. Soon, they were blessed with a child, our youngest sibling. Life was good back then, and for a while, I felt whale. In high school, I was an achiever. I joined pageants, broadcasting, and speech competitions. I was also a consistent athlete. This allowed me to travel to different places, competing in CAVRAA and Palarong Pambansa. My high school life was full of joy and excitement. But one day everything changed. My father and step-mother separated. Papa was devastated when he found out that while he was away, She had been with another man. He turned to alcohol, sleepless nights and tears. He almost forgot that he still had children waiting for him. He never returned abroad, and all the money he worked for was all gone. From then on, life become miserable for me and my brother. My brother fell into had company, and I was left alone. At one point, I was taken advantage of by someone who should have protected me. I become a victim of something I can never erase. That pain pushed me to leave, work and continue my studies. I was only in grade 8, but I was already working. Just to survive and support my education.
During the pandemic, I entered into a same sex relationship. We lived together, and for the first time in a long while, I felt safe under a roof I could call home while I continued my studies. Life was more peaceful then, and I was happy. but deep inside, the pain and bitterness of my past never left me. Many people said to me, “You’re so strong, you handled everything so well, you made it through,” But did I really? Did a child like me truly survive on my own? No, I didn’t. I was barely holding on cried when no one could hear me. I was denied the childhood I deserved, denied the family I longed for, denied the loving environment away child should have. I want through days that felt too long, nights that felt too empty, and moments when I wondered if I would ever feel whole again.
The truth is, I survived not because of me, but because of God. He was my only refuge, the one I clung to, the one I ran to, so no I didn’t survive on my own. God carried me through, because he know that form the way beginning until now, I have always been weak.